Both Lessons, Good and Bad

The kids and I went for a long trip (10 days) to visit my parents and family. While there, my parents and I had a harsh talk on my parenting techniques. I went away realizing I need to change some behaviors I have with my parents. The talk ended positive but I should have handled it differently from the beginning.
A little history on my conversation skills. I am incredibly agreeable and I lack the confidence to allow my feelings and needs to be met. I worry too much about making the other person comfortable and put their needs before my own.
That said- I need to handle conversations with my parents more like an independent adult even when the conversations are positive. I need confidence in my actions or at least to know that I'm doing my best and I will discuss things later after stating my stance. My stance is "I have to take care of this issue first, then if you want to talk later we can," instead of using their time line.
This is a skill I'd like to use with people in general. "I am a person and I am the one responsible to take care of my stuff. You can wait while I take care of me and my family. I am guided and directed and receive personal revelation for my stuff. Thank you for caring but it's my life."
I will have to figure out how to redirect conversations with others but this incite is such a blessing and will be so helpful when I figure out how to use it!
My parents said something helpful about my anger and that I am angry because my husband doesn't make enough money for me. It is true that finances stress me out for lack of money and we are so efficient and still lack. I told my husband he had to share in the stress of looking at our finances. I am the primary finance person in our family so it is time he shared that with me.
It is great to have a simple thing said. I notice I am less angry when I take it out on the actual problem. If I'm mad at my husband I need to take it out on him even if I have to yell or say not very nice things. I don't have a problem staying calm for the kids if I do that first. He should deal with my anger not them.
Both things came from my harsh talk with my parents, so I know I needed both lessons. The good and the bad blesses our lives.