Update on "Worn Out"

Here I am feeling much less exhausted and more ready. I had a day where I felt like, is this worth it? It is hard to only take care of others and hold back on yourself because you just can't do their needs and your own too. Do I have to choose? It would be easier to just choose to take care of myself and ditch the whole family thing. It would be easier to hide from my weakness and find immediate happinesses that I can constantly control if I were alone. The consequences of those feelings are tempting and seem easier. Then I need to ask myself "Am I looking for easy?"
I'm not sure why I think our lives are supposed to be easy when I have those thoughts. In a lesson at church we were discussing endurance. I can take that idea two ways. I can choose to endure and take the hard road which means work and sacrifice, or I can take the easy road and only take care of myself. I don't want to just survive because that is not what endurance means. I've survived before and then noticed that I was actually enduring during those years of postpartum. I was in fact gradually moving forward and came out with amazing lessons that brought me joy. Everyone has their struggles and finding enough energy in the day to take care of myself along with my family is mine.
My husband gave me a priesthood blessing when I was at my low that day and that gave me hope. I prayed for forgiveness for my desires to take the easy road. My life is the same and my struggles are the same but something is different. I feel clear and alert, my weakness is an obstacle I have to work through and I feel like I have to keep experimenting with it to progress. My choice is also different then I originally thought. I can choose to take care of myself and my family, not just one. My family has sacrificed for me before and they will actually happily do it again. I will seek their council in how they can help me with my weakness to find the right balance. We are an eternal family and we are supposed to learn and grow together. Choosing to be alone is not part of Heavenly Father's plan. We need each other, as imperfect as we are.