More Reasons and Pushing

My husband gets attached to things sentimentally and loves our home we left. He really wanted to keep it to rent out so we could still keep it. I was feeling that it wasn't a great idea since I'm done being a landlord. He was planning to take care of being the landlord as I had done in the past so I figured he could deal with it if he wanted to keep it.
Since we moved, we have been at odds about the house because I was getting answers that it just wasn't simple to keep the house and I am into simplifying. My husband is one stubborn person when it comes to that deep sentimental emotion. I figured I couldn't win the battle but I put my two cents in and he listened a little. I told him we needed to go over our financial situation and then decide. After a couple of days, we got the financials out in the open and he was willing to do what it took to keep the house until... we realized we couldn't invest in the business if we kept it. We really couldn't do it all and we needed to make a choice. Let me rephrase that, HE needed to make a choice between the house and investing.
The house is on the market as we speak. It is valued at nothing, okay not nothing but a good seventy thousand less than what we owe. We get to do a short sale along with millions of others who bought when the market was high. Everything is falling into place. We qualify for programs and we have great support to make the process go smoothly. We don't know how quickly it will sell but I know it will happen when the time is right.
I know my husband and I know our Father in Heaven knows my husband too. We are individuals to Him. He is pushed gently to make choices he doesn't want to make. My husband moved first and then we were pushed to move with him, which made it so we weren't living there when we made the choice. It did make it easier to be away from it, and the basis of the decision was something else he felt strongly about. I know he is so blessed and cared about and is allowed to receive his own answers and peace.

I Know One Reason!

So, we got one reason why we should be together already! Both of our cars had problems to the extent that neither were drivable at the same time. The truck would not go into reverse and the car kept stalling every 100 feet.
Luckily my man is a mechanic and can fix or figure out what needs to be fixed. We knew the transmission needed more help on the truck so we took it to the place where we had it rebuilt a couple of years ago. They had it for a week and we got it back (with a large bill).
The car was complicated since its symptoms were odd but my husband ordered a new fuel pump and we were driving it the next week.
I can't even imagine being by myself, car-less, 20 miles away from a grocery store and the kids school. Since we moved, at least we had his work truck to drive to get the kids to the bus stop and me to the grocery store. I didn't have to stress by myself and have to figure out how to make everything work. I was already with my whole family and being without a car isn't such a crisis as it would have been.
All I can say is that I'm grateful that we allow ourselves to be pushed and shoved. I'm glad there's a plan that I can trust in, since my Heavenly Father knows just what I need when I need it.

When Push Comes to Shove

We moved. After being apart while I did the stuff for our family at home and my husband worked away from home 6 days a week consistently we were breaking down. Who wants to be away from the person you chose to be with?
I was coping poorly. I was happy, which was nice, but I became increasingly independent and individualized. I had to take care of so much by myself with no partner that I had to cope with pushing the idea that I could have help from my husband out of my head.  Red flags started going up when I was less and less upset with handling life without him, and then to finally just be indifferent if he even called me. I did NOT want this! I love needing my husband and talking to him!
We talked and vented the frustration of the situation when we decided to talk to the kids in the morning before school about moving. We just told them we were having a rough time being apart and thought it would be best if we were together even if it meant moving. The younger two were fine with it. The oldest, not as easy but the sweetness of wanting to help us out was wonderful. They said if it would help us then they would do it for us. We changed schools the next Monday and have felt happy since.
I really don't think we have a clue as to what we are really doing sometimes. Our lives are directed by the spirit in so many ways. We don't know where we need to be and why, but sometimes we just end up there. I know we are supposed to be right where we are. I know it because I feel so good about everything and everything has fallen into place without stress and no regret. It's SIMPLE. We want to be together and this is where my husband works so we might as well SIMPLY move to be together where the job is.

Simply Simplify

Since our decision to move in June, my husband has been spending more time sleeping over at the farm for work and I'm home for days without him. I support him working but it is hard to be the only one responsible for our home and the kids for so long.
I was having a terrible day while he was gone and the support system I had created for myself was crashing and I was struggling. My sister happened to call right then and asked how I was doing. I cried in frustration to her about my struggles. She listed things I should do and my answer was I couldn't because it wasn't available to me. Then she told me to go on a walk and talk to my Heavenly Father until I felt better or had an answer.
It must have been the coldest day that week, with a biting wind, but I did it. I talked and cried and prayed. Willing myself to go until I felt better and then my answer came. SIMPLIFY. Immediately my frustration was gone and I calmed down.
I'm not sure in detail how I should simplify but I know it is what I must do. I felt impressed to ask my mom and she had useful suggestions on how to cope with my husband gone. Some suggestions she gave didn't help with this situation but helped me reestablish my own decisions on what not to do and why.
I've had a couple weeks and still have not pinned down exactly what simplify means for me but I feel reassured that if it gets tough, then that word will reassure me and it has. I do make my current decisions based on simplifying so maybe that's it. I just KNOW I need to simplify and I TRUST that that is enough until I understand more later.

Moving Time

My husband and I were content to see how this year would go with living so far away from his work. As December came and new ideas came into our heads, we felt more and more impressed to move to the farm.
We have a home there for us but it is unfinished (just studs and electrical). We calculated our finances and decided we needed to start finishing the house so we could move by June. The kids would be out of school and have the summer to make friends before school starts again. We would be there for crop season to lesson our travel stress too. We want to be with my husband more!
My husband's brother has been generous and will let us stay in his basement as we work on the house over the weekends. He also said we could live there if it isn't quite done by June.
We are amazed at how quickly life can change and how much more able we are to be motivated when we have such sure answers.
Our oldest was quite upset by this move and we told her that we prayed about it, and we know we need to move to do what's best for our family. We told her that if it is difficult for her then she should pray about it and get her own answer. She is doing better now.

Battery Life

I went shopping with a friend and we made a stop at the post office. When we were ready to go my car wouldn't start. Before I even got out of my car, two people had noticed and were ready to help. Then more people were willing to help.
Jumper cables came out and we were on our way. Those generous people amaze me and I'm grateful. I truly believe the Lord works through other people.

New Stake Conference

Our ward was placed in a different stake so that stake could split in two. We gathered in a community building to fit everyone there. After the split we watched a broadcast for our stake conference and the man speaking said the stake we were joining was a "low maintenance, high yield stake." I'd like to be low maintenance, high yield...

Highlights I liked:
*Youth need parents who teach and live the gospel. Improve the quality of life in the home. Fathers have the priesthood to protect the home. Mothers support. It is more important to have these things than youth activities.
*Our most important responsibility is to live to have the spirit with us.
*To keep ourselves grounded we need to keep our eyes on the goal. If we look for frailties in humans, we will find it.
*Choose the higher ground of obedience
*Marriage is the highest order-Commitment-Make it work. All marriages have the same problems it is the commitment level that tells if it will last. It is the biggest test of fidelity. It gives us reason to soften our hearts, have a contrite spirit, be patient, be an example, be willing to change ourselves.
*Marriage is an anxious concern for our spouses well being.
     -speak in soft and kind voices
     -stay out of debt
     -parent as partners. work together in harmony
     -pray together
     -Divine Words- I LOVE YOU

9 Year Old Blessings

Our oldest is nine and that has been a HUGE blessing since she can babysit. We can go to the temple more and other dates. Not only is she nine but she is responsible and has learned with experience how to be a good babysitter. My husband and I are thrilled we have more opportunities to have one on one with each other.

Cause and Effect

We were able to finally put down two nusense dogs that were harassing our horses. They were chasing cars, making the school bus slam on the brakes, etc. My husband warned the owners before he did it and they said the dogs deserved it if they were after horses. We were glad to be rid of the problem, especially since two horses got hurt when they got spooked and ran through the fence most likely by dogs.
We feel sad since the dogs were sweet and good with people but we can't make the owners keep the dogs in their yard.

The Kids Say...

The kids say that they are blessed to do really good in school. It's true, they are doing really good.

Guard

We were able to find a really nice grill guard for our truck my husband uses to commute to work. He has already hit a deer and happened to drive the vehicle that had a guard on it that day. Since that truck has poor fuel mileage we were thrilled to have the protection on his commuting vehicle and it looks great too! It was half price and local.

Bonus

My husband received a bonus check from the farm this year. We hoped for five hundred but it ended up being three thousand.
We have budgeted really well and feel so blessed to actually have it as extra money instead of trying to catch up with it. My husband has wanted a clutch for his 4x4 and a couple of drill batteries and then we can pay our car down faster. Tithing will come first of course.
We have a goal to become debt free and we are almost there. We have the school loan, car payment and our house. The school loan will be paid off in the next year. We are so grateful that our obedience to stay within our means is paying off financially.

Rent Lessons Learned

Last month we had our previous renters move out. My husband and I were feeling the strain of their presence and didn't know how well we'd make it to the end of their contract (3 more months). The yard was always messy with neglected toys, constant garbage and dog poop. They were pretty good people but were just hard to live with because the apartment is above our garage.
The renters found a place and we immediately found new renters within days of our posting our ad. HUGE blessing since last time it took six months. We were happy.
It didn't come without struggle. We'd helped the previous renters financially by charging less rent for yard work (which wasn't done completely). I ended up charging $60 for three hours of cleaning and we had to charge for a new lock since they lost the key. The woman threw a fit and demanded items back we had helped them get rid of when they first moved in. She determined we weren't welcome at their new house.
I was so sad that she threw away our friendship over a cleaning bill and a lost key that was all in her control. We were friends and had gotten along very well.
My husband and I learned a great lesson. It is hard to help people and use good boundaries. We were tired of helping them since they took advantage of our generosity. In the end they didn't appreciate anything since we stopped helping them and made them responsible for things they could control.
We also saw, again, how the Lord takes care of us and got us out of that situation in excellent time. We are so grateful and our new renters don't demand any favors!

Home

(An article I wrote from The Gunlock Informer, September 2011)
  Home is a place we saw little of during the summer months. My children provoked this article since they have really missed their home. The children were used to long days at our home playing in the yard, going to the splash parks and checking out books at the library in past years for summer activities.
   Disappointment struck briefly as those past events were not to take place during this last summer. That disappointment faded quickly as the pursuit of the new and unknown came.   The excitement of preparing and thinking of all the fun things to be done while on vacation, going to family reunions or just supporting their dad working on the farm, was special.
   With each trip a new adventure unfolded, it created a summer that leaped by while time was flying just as fast. Packing and unpacking, doing laundry just to put it back into the bags. Doing dishes by hand, sitting in tractors, counting ladybugs and grasshoppers, applying layers of sunscreen. Collecting a hay cube to show off to mom so she could see the success of the day.
   The return home was welcomed more and more with each trip. The door to the house would unlock and the children would disappear to be with the things they love most in their own home. Sighs were more and more heartfelt each time their heads lay on their very own pillow, in their very own room, surrounded by their very own belongings.
   Although it is fun to be constantly doing things and going from one event to another, there is something to be said about being home. I believe my children have learned for themselves how special a home can be.

Paradox

"Man is nothing but to God we are everything" -President Uchtdorf